Book Review: Get Lost Your Guide To Finding True Love by Dannah Gresh

  I chose this book because I work closely in mentoring relationships with some fantastic young ladies. I finished the book wishing that there had been something like this on the shelves back when I was a single young woman.  
Dannah is writing in a way that is relevant to the young women in today's culture.  This may cause a rewrite in 10 years, but for today, it's great.  But let's get this clear, her anecdotes are relevant for today's culture but her message is relevant for all time.  This woman is writing as one who has been there, done that and now she wrote the book! In a good way! 
She is addressing a major issue I have come across in my own interaction with young women which is their skewed perspective on love. 
    Dannah starts out the book by identifying what she labels "the violent craving". Any woman young or old should be able to relate to what she's talking about.  "The craving makes us all insatiably hungry for the attention of a guy..." She helps young women to see how the craving they experience is actually misdirected. Instead of being focused on guys it should be directed to our loving God and Father.
      She then moves into a 10 day love feast challenge where she lays out a daily plan for worship, focusing on God's word, and then she expounds on one specific idea. I love that she even includes the titles and artists to specific worship songs for each day. 
     She wraps up the book with more insight on what a girl who is lost in God looks like, what a guy lost in God looks like and even what a relationship lost in God looks like.  
     I am so very thankful that there is a book like this on the shelves of stores now accessible to young ladies.  I will definitely be utilizing this book in my mentoring relationships and I think it is a great tool for anyone who works with teenagers or single women.  If I was the mother of a teenage daughter, this would be the next gift I would buy for her. If you are a teen or young adult woman, this is the next gift you should buy yourself.
Look for it on April 2 when it is released.

Got Mah Hair Done!

I've got boys. 

3 of them to be exact. 

And no daughters, just to be clear. 

But that doesn't mean it's all dirt and armpit farts around here. Although it is like that around here a lot. 

Sometimes my boys like to show me their soft side and they like to do my hair.

Exhibit A:

Now as their Mommy, I absolutely LOVE when they decide to do this.  Even though it means the loss of some extra hairs for me. I just think it is so sweet.  Plus, I figure it's good training for when they are married one day.  Almost every girl I know likes to have her hair brushed by someone else.

What I think is hilarious is that they have absolutely no idea how to make a pony tail (I had to help with these).  Usually in their attempt to make a pony tail, they end up making a knot. Out of my hair. And lets not even talk about braids. This is not a skill boys are born with people.  I'm not sure when little girls learn this stuff, seeing as I don't have any of my own to watch.  But it is cute how my boys try and make me look 'beautiful'. 

 And just so you know, I dutifully wore my hair like this for at least an hour so their Daddy could see it when he got home. Even though my boys and I have different ideas on what beautiful hair looks like. 

Plus, it absolutely melts my heart when they look at me and say "You look pretty Mommy". Especially when I'm still in my yoga pants and wearing yesterdays makeup.  I don't care one whit then that we have different opinions of whats 'beautiful'! 

I love my precious sons. 

Oh and by the way, I made this headband out of a t-shirt sleeve and some felt.  What do you think?  I usually wear it a little differently, but it is a great way to re-purpose the sleeves of old t-shirts.  Especially if you used the bodies already to make a t-shirt scarf! It's a win/win. I bet you could even make the flowers out of t-shirt material.  Oh man, stop me now! I'm getting giddy with the thought!

Enjoy your life,

Jana

What Do You Do Once You Know?

January 11th was national Human Trafficking Awareness day.  
I thought that it would be a good day to finally wrap up my trip to Las Vegas.
And it would have been.
But I didn't.
I was thinking about it, and I am simply having a hard time finding the words to sum up the trip.
I know many of you are waiting for me to write about "the thing".  You want to know what I took away from this trip, You want to know what God revealed to me through my experiences, you want to know what I think the core of the trip was about, you want to know what I think I am going to do now.
I do to.
In truth I am struggling with trying to figure out what the purpose of me going on this trip really was. 
I am struggling to figure out what I do now.
Sometimes I'm just struggling with all this knowledge I now have.

I mentioned before that I didn't go looking for this trip.  It was brought to me. 
I didn't go looking for this cause.  It was brought to me.
I didn't want to know what I know now.  
But I do.
So I am struggling to know what God's plan for me and this cause is.
What does he want a rural house wife and home schooling mom to do with people involved in human trafficking?
I have been praying, and was praying the entire time that I was away about this.  I feel like this isn't supposed to be a one time thing.  Once you know, once you've seen the faces of trafficking victims, you can't, you shouldn't, just walk away and pretend it doesn't happen.
You cannot sit at the same table and talk to a mother who has lost a daughter to this predator, and see the pain in her eyes,  and just walk away.  
You can't  break bread with women who have come out of the life and hear their stories of redemption and restoration and just forget.
You can't know that all around the world, possibly probably even in your own town, there are girls who are being forced to service 'johns' into the darkest hours of the night while you sleep safely in the comfort of your own bed, and just walk away.

That would be wrong.
So very wrong.

That would be unjust.
But it is an impossible problem.  
There is no way to stop it.
I mean, if there was no demand for illicit sex, then we could stop it.  If there was no sexual sin in the world then we could put an end to it. 
But that isn't going to happen on this side of heaven.
So here is what I know.  
Here is one thing that I think I have figured out through all of this.
This is what I think I should try and do:
The only way to truly save a life, is to prevent a child/woman/man from becoming a victim of sex trafficking.
Because once a person has been sexually abused, even if they are rescued from the situation, their life has been altered.  They will have painful issues to work through.  There will be   memories to forget and emotions to heal.  They will need to come to the place where they can forgive their abuser.  
They won't be the same as they would have been. 
Even with the gift of God's amazing, wonderful, powerful love, if they choose to accept it, they will have to work through the consequences of their abuse.
Without God's love, I am not sure that there is even much hope of a true healing.
With God's love I know that much is possible.  God is the great physician not just of bodies but of hearts.  I have looked in the eyes of women who have suffered much, who have been battered and abused, both by their own hands and the hands of others.  I have seen in them what God can do with a life that was tattered and torn, wrecked and bleeding, ruined beyond what they thought could be repaired.  
I have seen his redemption in their eyes and it is so sweet.  It is so amazing!  Even thinking of it now brings tears to my eyes!  Oh what God can do with a person who chooses to surrender to his love!
But I would choose, if I could, to spare them the pain they went through.  I feel we owe it to our children to try and keep them safe.  To attempt to protect them from the kind of pain that evil people can inflict on their lives.  
Because that's the truth.  People who traffic and abuse others,  are evil.
So here is what I can do, and you too:  
Get educated.
Spread the word.
Save a life.

It sounds simple and maybe it is.  But it isn't easy.  I haven't enjoyed gaining this knowledge.  Many people will avoid this topic because of the sensitive content or vulgar truth.  Let's face it, there is nothing nice or pretty about trafficking.  It's ugly! But it is time for all of us to stop turning a blind eye to the evil that is happening all around us.  
It's time to stand up for the truth.

How? 
Here are a few simple things:
*Don't act like it wouldn't happen in your town.  It does and is.
*Don't think that all women choose to be prostitutes or porn stars. Many of them didn't. 
*Don't think that the women are in it for the money and they like to do what they are doing - most of them don't.  
Most women are being mentally manipulated by an evil pimp.  
Most women who are prostitutes have been sexually abused as children.  The emotional ramifications of that abuse has made them easier to prey upon as young women. 
*Don't buy sex - not magazines, not movies,not the phone, not the Internet, and not women
*Don't give your kids unlimited access to the Internet
   (the average age of a boys first exposure to pornography is         age 11)
*Don't avoid the hard topics at home.  Talk to your kids. 
*Don't forget to teach your kids how valuable they are in God's eyes.  Teach them how much he loves them!
*Don't forget to tell your kids every day that you love them. Show it with your actions too. 
*Don't think it couldn't happen to your kid/family.  It can happen to anyone.
*Don't avoid being educated on this topic, it is to your benefit to be aware.
*Don't forget to be compassionate to women who are in the sex industry.  They are someones daughter, mother, friend, or sister.  
*Don't forget that God loves them as much as he loves you.  Share his love with them.
*Don't be afraid to share your knowledge with others.  You might just save a life.

I know there is a lot to think about here.
I know that this is an unpleasant subject.
But I believe that together, we can make a difference.
We can save a life.

No, I don't know what God wants me to do - exactly - with all the information I have.  I don't know where he wants me to get involved here at home.  I don't know what it is supposed to look like.
I am going to continue to pray and see what God wants.    
I will look for the opportunities as they come.  
I will do what I can.  
I won't forget.
And God will continue to do his work all throughout the world using people like me.  
Using people like you.  
People who are willing to take up the cross and share the gospel of Christ by loving one person at a time in the name of Jesus.

Happy Valentine's Day

We celebrate V-day here at the Beaber house. No we don't do chocolate and roses but we do have heart shaped food. Hunky Hubby is the breakfast chef in this house. Mmmm didn't he do a fine job?

This year, even though there were a thousand cute ideas on Pinterest, we restricted the heart shaped food items to pancakes. Which the boys loved. Which is really why celebrating Valentine's Day is so much fun. 
We also usually get the boys a little gift. This year, because the two older boys have been burning through paper on drawing after drawing after drawing, they each got sketch books. Seth has already used up about five pages in his.

 I also made them each a beaded book mark.  I made them from the bead stash of a friend of mine, and in the bead stash I found some little medallions that had owls on them! And there were three of them! And she said I could use them all! Perfect!

Tate noticed the owls right away and pointed it out to his brothers. They all got excited about them. It was fun that Tate looked at his bookmark close enough to notice this small, but special detail without me having to point it out. He is probably the most observant one of the boys. We celebrated the rest of the day with friends that came over for a visit. I wanted to make a cute Valentine's Day banner and decorate (using some of those cute ideas on Pinterest) but I totally dropped the ball on that. And even though we didn't eat anymore heart shaped food, I usually try and keep our lunch special by making as many things red or pink as possible. My friend actually brought over red napkins, plastic silverware, and table cloth. So even though I dropped the ball on decorations, it still worked out and looked festive. Then we let the kids decorate book marks with a valentines theme and make some cards for their friends.
It was a fun day. Plus, I was reminded of what sweet boys I have when they each thanked me and their Dad three or four times for their gifts. It's so much fun to give them things when they have thankful heart attitudes.
Now you are probably asking what I received for V-day. Well this is what my little boys did for me:

Sweetest. Gift. Ever. Needless to say I went for the deluxe. And the foot rub. And the scalp massage.
And they did a great job. I have the sweetest son's.
Hunky Hubby gave me a sweet card (that I will not be sharing with you) and a necklace (not diamond, that's not how I roll). Plus we went out to eat with one of our 'adopted' daughters as a family tonight. After 4 false attempts, we finally found a restaurant that was open and serving (this seems to be a valentines night tradition for us). The sweetest thing was that our 'daughter' treated us to dinner! Nice!
I am greatly blessed. Today was a reminder of how much love surrounds me.
I guess that's why I like to celebrate this silly holiday.

Five

 This past Wednesday, my baby turned 5.

F-I-V-E, fiver, cinco, funf, cinq, cinque, I think you get my drift.

Did I ever really think this day would come when I brought this little purple faced baby home from the hospital? At that point in time I couldn't think past the next potential nap time.

They say a childs personality is basically established by the age they are five.

Scary huh?

I've had that knowledge breathing down my neck for the last couple of years now. So what does this mean for Wyat now that he's turned the age at which these things are set in stone?

 How have we, as his parents, done at shaping his personality and character? This is where I want to insert the disclaimer: each child truly does come with their own unique personality at birth.

 There is some shaping that a parent can do, but some of it will be evident from infancy and stick with your kid his whole life until death. Unless God intervenes. God can do anything. Basically because he made your kid and the whole universe, so really, what can't he do? What does this mean as I look at my young son? What do I see in him today that I hope will be there 30 years from now? He's got a lot of good qualities, and I am so thankful because I'm pretty sure he has those in spite of his parents not because of.

Here are 5 things I love about him:

1.He is a really compassionate kid. When I listen to his prayers at night I am amazed at his thoughtfulness of others and his compassion for them, people he doesn't even know. He is already learning to love other people because God loves them.

2. Anyone who knows Wyat also knows that he is a funny kid. He loves to make people laugh and he loves to have fun and joke around. Punching and wrestling will usually be included (we're still working on that). 

3. He is fiercely loyal to those he loves.

4. He has a happy personality and he has just as much fun playing alone as he does with other people.

5. Most importantly, already as a little boy, he loves God and wants to do what he says. Does it get any better than this? 

As for the character qualities that he posseses that are a little less than desireable, well, I'm just going to trust God to take care of those along the way. And truly, other than the fact that he can dodge work better than anyone I've ever met, he's a truly great kid.

Happy 5th birthday Wyat!